I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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