remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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