No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
