we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
this hospital has no fireball
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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