i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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