Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
