READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
