Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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