so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
