I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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