did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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