Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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