I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
