so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize