i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize