the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
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He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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