Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
