You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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