Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
