Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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