I wish I could punch you in the face.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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