She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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