does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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