What a fucking waste of an outfit
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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