Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
