As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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