I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize