Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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