for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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