I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
