Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
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