i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
