we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
