We're like a lot better than the average bears
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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