Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
