sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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