I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My bed smells like the plague
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
