So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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