He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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