I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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