Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
