Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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