Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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