I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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