I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need a beard to bite.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
