I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
