I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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