You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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