When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
