I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
