fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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