I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
