I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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