i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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