either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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