He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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