I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Who died my cat blue again?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
