we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
