My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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